Reading work jokes at work is still work, right? We like that, so we put up some work jokes to enjoy when we're bored at work.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is a crime?
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.
I pretend to work here, they pretend to pay me.
Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!
We never knew he was a drunk until he showed up to work sober.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
How long have I been working for the company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.
Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing that today is Tuesday.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
