The Irish have a long tradition of telling jokes over a pint or ten at the pub. The're also known for not being afraid of throwing some punches so watch who you say these to.
What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? -- A Referee.
Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? -- Cos they're always a little short!
What is black and blue and found floating up-side-down in the Irish sea? -- Someone who's tells a stupid Irish joke!
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
A visitor to a small Irish village commented to a local Garda that it was a quiet little place. The Garda replied, quiet to be sure, we haven't buried a living soul in years.
Seamus do you understand French? I do if its spoken in Irish!
Two farmers were driving a tractor down the middle of a road. A car comes around the corner backs hard to avoid them , skids, tumbles twice and land in a field. Jimmy say to Eamonn it's just as well we got out of that field.
An Irishman lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup. And another hundred on the replay.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? -- He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Why did God invent whiskey? -- So the Irish would never rule the world.
Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road one day, Paddy said, Murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over there Murphy, I can't see, theirs trees in the way!
What do you call an Irishman who sits outside all night?
Paddy O' Furniture
