Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said concentrate!
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.
I got so angry the other day when I couldn't find my stress ball.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything.
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says Give me some chap-stick... and put it on my bill
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What's the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are built upside down!
I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks.
What's 50 Cent's name in Zimbabwe? 400 Million Dollars.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Just watched a documentary about beavers... It was the best damn program I've ever seen.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.
