Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You're a sandwich!'
My dad literally told me this one last week: 'Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.'
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs! The doctor replied, I know you can't I've cut off your arms!
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? catch up!
Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places Doctor Well don't go to those places.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said concentrate!
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.
