Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You're a sandwich!'
My dad literally told me this one last week: 'Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.'
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs! The doctor replied, I know you can't I've cut off your arms!
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? catch up!
Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places Doctor Well don't go to those places.
Bicycles can't stand on their own, they're two tired.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
