Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.
I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall.
Wanna go somewhere a little darker?
You must be a diagnosis, because you’ve got me feeling something I’ve never felt before.
Do you believe in the big bang theory?
People tell me I have a good breaststroke, but I'd say I'm a pretty good swimmer too.
The man leaned on the printer cartridge because he wanted to tone up his abs.
The inventor of pantyhose really left us quite a legacy.
Can I buy you a Starbucks Trenta or were you looking for something bigger?
At first I thought I was looking at a Monet, but you are so much more beautiful up close.
Are you a penitential season? Cause I'd give up anything for you.
Wanna come back to my place and see my itchings?
Hey chef, can I be the bread to your butter?
Are you scrubbing in? Because you’re about to clean up this mess I call a life.
Is your nickname Mars? Cause you look habitable.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice.
'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper.
I know a few good spiritual exercises we could do back at my place.
