Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Can I buy you a Starbucks Trenta or were you looking for something bigger?
At first I thought I was looking at a Monet, but you are so much more beautiful up close.
Are you a penitential season? Cause I'd give up anything for you.
Wanna come back to my place and see my itchings?
I heard milk does the body good, but DAMN! Blood does too?
Your car's audio system sounds like a cacophony of tortured souls, assaulting the ears of all who dare to listen.
Hey chef, can I be the bread to your butter?
Is your nickname Mars? Cause you look habitable.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice.
'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper.
I know a few good spiritual exercises we could do back at my place.
Are you a vampire? Because I've got something I'ld like you to suck.
Your car's reliability is non-existent, a ticking time bomb of mechanical failures waiting to ruin your day.
Can I have a taste of what you’re cooking up?
I sure wish I were that towel you're using.
Mine safety is riddled with legal pitfalls.
In attempting to cook Japanese food, I bento ver backwards learning proper technique.
Baby, you must be running a TCP protocol, since every time I talk to you, your body gives me an acknowledgment!
