Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Would you like to come back to my place and watch Netflix while drinking cheap wine and eating Chipotle?
Girl, you're finer than my ground pepper!
I can bone out 5 chickens in 10minutes, just think of the sexual implications.
I can do amazing things to your tongue.
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
Girl, you're so fine I could sift flour with you.
I love you as much as I love oyster sauce.
I'd like to casserole you. That's done slowly for about four hours.
Order fire, two shots of tequilla and your phone number.
Wanna go back to my place for some lamb chop lollipop?
Wanna lick my beater?
You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee... and less drippy.
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth creamy and easy to spread.
Are you a frito cause your really corny.
Has anyone ever told you've got beautiful fries?
Are you Little Caesars because you look hot and ready.
I've always thought that cucumbers were such a sensual fruit.
Is your dad a japelano because you sure are hot.
Will you be the burger to my smash?
You are the glaze to my donut.
You're like an appetizer, cause you always come first.
Girl, I know you want this tip.
Hey, I've never eaten here before. What do you all recommend?
I noticed you, noticing me when I ordered.
If you liked the tip, come by later and I'll give you the full thing.
You get 25 percent of the bill and 100 percent of my heart. Call me?
Your money isn't the only tip I want.
Is work the only place that you are good at serving?
I'm thinking of getting into waitressing...can you give me any tips on how to break into the industry?
I wear this leaf blower so I can blow you 270 mph kisses.
Can I rake your front yard?
Are you in the Library catalogue? I'd love to get you're number.
I want to impress a cute stranger with my book choice. Do you have any recommendations?
Are you librarian? Because I really need to get shushed!
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
My dog is humping your dog. It must be fate!
Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day with a frisbee in your mouth.
Haven't I sniffed you someplace before?
Would you like to go on a poop-duty double date?
We must be near the port or is it just because my heart is beating too fast coz I like you?
You are what they call a bombshell and how lucky I am that you are mine.
Some days I wish you were like a flight just so I can be the one to catch you up.
It seems I have got me some good tickets, want to check if my seat reclines?
You're an artist? I'd let you draw me naked anytime
Hey girl I bought Photoshop for the Magic Wand Tool 'cause I wanna make you my selection.
Like the Mona Lisa smile, I find your smile absolutely intriguing.
You had me at the gallery entrance.
Nice to meet you. I would shake your hand but the sign says not to touch the masterpieces.
Baby is that my name tattooed on your back?
Are you a traditionalist? Because your form is extraordinary.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Is there room on this kneeler for two?
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Will you be my date to mass?
Are you devoted to St.Joseph the Worker? Because there's no denying you're working it.
Let's do some things you'll need to tell your priest about tomorrow.
Girl are you the Ascension? Cause you're a Glorious Mystery.
Hey are you busy Sunday? Wanna meet me at the altar?
Saint Augustine said to fall in love with God is the greatest romance, but falling in love with you is just as great.
Wow girl, I know you're going to hell because its got to be a sin to look that good!
Do you go to Latin Mass before coming to the gym? Because your form is extraordinary.
You, me, candles, wine, and a little Lamb of God?
Hey girl, I heard there aren't many married saints. How about we work on that together?
Is this seat taken or are you a Sedevacantist?
Will you be the Alice to my Dietrich?
Sometimes it seems like our plans make more sense than His. Don't take the bait.
If loving you is a heresy, then let me be anathema.
I can stop praying to St. Anthony because I found you.
The only Confession I need to be doing is confessing my love for your pure heart.
That saree looks very nice on you. It would look even better off of you.
We are the reincarnated souls of two past lovers. It's our destiny to be together, you just don't remember our past life together.
By the many arms of Vishnu, I want to stick it in your butt.
Hey baby doll! Want to have four kids with me?
If I were David I would want you to be my Bathsheba.
I've been reading the Book of Numbers, and realized I don't have yours.
If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Are you the iron rod? Because I wanna hold onto you for the rest of eternity.
Don't I know you from the pre-existence?
If you were the iron rod, I would hold on to you for all eternity.
Would you mind auditing me on the Happiness Rubdown?
Is that a cluster of body thetans or are you just happy to see me?
You remind me of a mezuzah... So, I'm supposed to kiss you, right?
Baby I'd nail you harder then we nailed Jesus to that cross.
Which commandment do you want to break?
Can I kiss your Mezuzah?
That yarmulke would look great on my bedroom floor!
Wanna get a drink sometime? I was thinking a glass of wine - I know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.
I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.
Next place I want to see your hijab is on my bedroom floor.
Don't play with my mind, play with my boobs.
So do you have an oral or an fixation?
I enjoy long walks to the MEG scanner and one-on-one time with a participant in the Eyetracker.
I think I'm schizophrenic, because baby I'm delusional about you.
Damn girl! You must be ovulating!
Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months
My Mom says I'm the best kisser she's ever known.
I'm working on a porn site. Wanna be in the first video?
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
The voices like your skin.
Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans I 'd like to chop your legs off.
If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop screaming?
That is a gun in a pocket and I am not pleased to see you.
