Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
May I stick a banana in your tailpipe?
Want to get some air? Oh wait, I ate your lungs.
Congratulations, you've managed to achieve a level of ugliness that defies all known standards of aesthetics.
Looking at you is like staring into the depths of hell, a grotesque abomination of nature.
Are you a boxer? Well you should be, you're one hell of a knock out!
If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.
He works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
Are you from Tennessee? Because that's the only state I'm not wanted in.
It's a good thing same-sex marriage is legal here, because I'm already planning our wedding.
If you were a drug, I'd crush you and put you in that girl's drink.
They say to bat me 2nd because I'm a good 2-hole hitter.
Do you have a mirror in your intestines? Because I can see my hands in them.
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes. [If this doesn't work, hit her in the head with a brick]
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
Is it hot in here or is it just the fire I've lit in your hair?
I'll eat you like a dingo eats a baby.
Cottons not the only thing I'll be picking up tonight.
Do you want to check out my home quarter?
Are you a swim bag? Because you got everything I need.
Shouldn't you be sitting on top of my tree, Angel?
