Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Why don't you take a powder, preferably arsenic.
Can I take your temperature? You're looking hot today.
Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest? -- Me neither.
Are you Phineas Gage? Because I lost my mind for you.
Are you Suarez? Cause I'll let you bite me all night.
What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?
Q: Why do you always find things in the last place you look?
A: Duh!
If there's nothing to say, I'm sure you'll say it.
The only greater landmass than the continent of Asia is the mass contained in these arms [flex arms, raise one eyebrow].
Bet I can bench press you.
There are five oceans, seven continents, and only one person like you!
I could make you scream louder than the siren.
Your car's exhaust emits a noxious cloud of pollutants, contributing to the degradation of the environment.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day? - Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
If I were a fish, I'd be hooked on you.
The brakes on your car are about as effective as using a feather to stop a charging bull.
I'll be your xena if you be my Gabrielle...
Are you an astronaut? Because I really wanna explore Uranus.
