Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I don't have a very long hose, but I've got one hell of of a pumper!
Are you depression? Cause I want you to fuck me all day long.
What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? -- Tennish.
If there's anything I know how to do the right way... it's lay pipe. I'm happy to prove it!
Do you need prayer? Because I'm certainly willing to lay hands on you.
Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today.
Are you a pizza box? because I can't wait to get your top off.
Girl, are you Canadian? because I feel sorry for myself.
How’re things looking in your books, got any room for some date-a entry?
Are you a toaster? Cause I'd be down to take a bath with you.
If you were a script, I'd never go off book.
So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world
If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
The Hong Kong businessman left a huge estate when he died. It was the great will of China.
Bet I can bench press you.
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?
I just built a climbing gym in my pants and would like to offer your a chance at a first ascent.
