Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
What does a mathematician do when he's consitpated? -- He works it out with a pencil
I know I just met you but I already like you more than candy.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
You're the Obi-wan for me.
Are you an interior decorator? Cause you are making this room beautiful
If work is so great, why do they have to pay you to do it?
I've got a little something for you to gobble on.
I love a good South of the border crossing.
What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.
Drinking after work is great, but if you want to enjoy work, drink before work.
I've just torn up a note pad and wrapped it around my stomach; it was a waist of paper.
Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.
Call the cops... See who comes first.
Are you a slippery pool deck? Because I'm falling for you.
Hey fellas, let's bowl some balls?
Would you be so kind as to lend me your heart, or shall I cut it out myself?
You bleach your hair? Im the same way! I bleach the bloodstains out of my carpet!
This food's going to taste great! Don't worry, you will too.
Baby I can be Spain and you can be Ireland, tonight. In other words, I'm gonna screw you hard!
When I want your remarks, I'll rattle your cage.
