Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
You're the Obi-wan for me.
Are you an interior decorator? Cause you are making this room beautiful
If work is so great, why do they have to pay you to do it?
Drinking after work is great, but if you want to enjoy work, drink before work.
I've just torn up a note pad and wrapped it around my stomach; it was a waist of paper.
Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.
Hey fellas, let's bowl some balls?
Hey would you believe me if I said I was bitten by a crocodile?
You are like my snorkel, because you're wrapped around my mind.
I may not be your cup of tea, but I'm a great shot of tequila.
Baby I can be Spain and you can be Ireland, tonight. In other words, I'm gonna screw you hard!
When I want your remarks, I'll rattle your cage.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand
Is that a double ended vibrator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Coffee, tea, or just more of me?
You can count on star but you can't ever count on how much I miss you.
My coffee isn't hot enough! Could you hold it for a while?
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
