Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Shhh, don't worry, you'll repress that this ever happened.
I'm dieing to see you. Literally. I don't have much time left.
Guitarists finger faster, you know.
If a cat were to describe you. It would say you're purrrrfect.
Is your name Watt? Because you’re looking pretty electric.
Can we go on a fishing trip together... or just pretend it's one?
Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'
Your body is 'ultra vires', it's beyond my power to control myself around you.
The nuclear physicist took a vacation for a fission trip.
My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff.
Even if it tastes bad, don't insult the chef. Just swallow.
Do you have overdue books? Because you have fine written all over you.
Let me flip this coin and whatever side it land on that's what I get.
Hey Girl, are you a Beaver? Because you sure look like you could use some wood!
If we were trees. We'd be of the same species.
Are you one of them hot cougars that pick up young willing men?
You must be a transformer because you’re transforming my day into something special.
Do you have a net to catch my heart because I think it's in danger of being swept away.
If I walk around you 7 times, will you fall for me?
