Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I don’t need a meter to tell me that you’re hot.
Are you a fish with scales of gold because I'd love to reel you in.
Are you inventory? Because I can’t wait to count you as mine.
You must be my plumber’s tape, because you seal all my doubts.
I don't know what possessed me to attend that seance.
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
Are you a pulmonary embolism? 'Cause I can't breathe when I'm around you.
You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things.
Can you help me put this away in the anthropology section.
Girl, I wanna pop some caps with you till da hood do us part.
You remind me of the Ka'aba - I could walk around you all day long.
Vancouver isn't the only thing getting wet tonight.
Do yoga with me as the sun is rising?
You have a nice set of mallets.
I think you’re the missing piece to complete my circuit.
You must be a worm because you're wriggling your way into my heart.
Are you my tax preparer? Because you’ve got all the right answers.
Are you a flux brush? Because you’ve applied the perfect touch to my heart.
Hey, is this seat saved? No? Are you?
Want to make some motions together?
