Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
A trumpet isn't the only thing I can make scream high notes.
Are you a two-octave chromatic scale? Because you leave me breathless.
So you're on drumline, wanna give first bass a try?
Are you a tenor? Cuz you're the only ten I hear.
Do you love basketball? You only need a basket cause I already got balls.
Are you a 4th or 5th? Because you're perfect.
If you jut let me hit this spin move on you one time you gone fall in love.
It would be great to rallentando floor with you.
Do you like basketball? Why I want to show my Magic Johnson.
Are you a piece of minimalist music? Because I keep seeing you again and again.
Can I play with your tremolo arm?
You think Zdeno Chara has a long stick, wait until you see mine.
Want to hold my shaft?
We're gonna go beat up Scott Hamilton. Wanna come?
I bet I can score on your 5-hole
Fewer teeth just means more room for tongue.
Are you ever gonna give me a cue to breathe, or shall I just follow your direction?
You've stolen my heart away. Luckily, I've got another three or four in the freezer.
I bet you'll need an Ice bath after running through my mind all day.
Your voice is so beautiful, you make fartleks sound appealing.
I lost my black lipstick, can I borrow yours?
Hold up, let me tie my shoe. I don't want to fall for anyone else but you.
On a scale of 1-10 you're a 26.2
You make my heart beat faster than the starting gun.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the only way I would wake up early, is if I get to run with you.
Is that blood or wine your having cause I was gonna get you another.
Can you run with me so I can tell my friends I've ran with an angel?
I want to pound you like I pound the asphalt. For hours until it hurts.
Can I skin you alive. I want to see your inner beauty.
Tell me, is your heart as cold and black as your eyes?
Hey, you in the black!
You make my heart race, and there is no finish line.
I knew angels could fly, but I didn't know they could run.
Are you a flip turn? Because I'm head over heels for you.
Are you a lap counter? Because without you, I'm lost.
Let's put the 'fun' in funeral!
Don't you think the human voice, wailing in agony, is the most beautiful of all instruments?
Can our first date be in the cemetery? I'm dying to meet you there.
Pardon me, but my corset has come unlaced. Could you tighten it for me?
I heard milk does the body good, but DAMN! Blood does too?
Is that a candle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
All of my most important poems and drawings are in this little book. And I'd like you to have it because they're mostly about you.
Hi, I have my own cult!
Wanna listen to me drone on about art, bicycles, and sustainable-source fair-trade coffee?
Are you from the area? 'Cause I only date locally-sourced.
Wow, are you a cougar? 'Cause I have a feeling you hunted guys my age before it was cool.
Let's listen to The 1975 and make out under the stars.
Cool necklace. is that locally handcrafted?
The color palate of your face is really great in this lighting.
Aren't you the model from my figure drawing class?
I want to ride you like a roller coaster. Just try not to puke.
Are you a single rider, because I'm a single rider too?
Girl you be the 6, I'll be the 9, that's only time you'll be less than a dime.
Is that a cell phone in yo pocket? Cuz dat ass is callin' me!
Yo name must be Maxwell House cause baby yo ass is good til the last drop.
Want to come over for some Malt Liquor and Kool-Aid?
Hey, you're beautiful. Sit on my face?
Is your name Katniss? Because you're sparking a rebellion in my district.
Are you depressed yet? Cause you've been stuck in my head all day.
Are you method acting because you're really in my head.
Are you the cast list? Because I can't stop looking at you.
You seem depressed. Let's bang the depression out of each other!
Are you a psychologist? Cause you cure my depression.
I'd love to go to Uranus! Because it has a toxic atmosphere and would instantly kill me.
Hey baby, can you get your pants lower than my self-esteem?
Are you Hamilton tickets? Because I'd do literally anything to make you mine.
I want you to sit on my face. Seriously, if there's a chance I might lose oxygen flow and die... I'll take it.
Are you looking for buried treasure? Explore my chest... With a knife.
You must be opening night, because my heart races when I'm close to you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I saw you with him, I'm happy for you.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
You're so fine, you put the font size in playbills to shame.
I'll climb you like Valjean climbed the barricade.
To be, or not to be in bed with me? That is the question.
You're like my college audition monologue: memorable, rare, and utterly perfect for me.
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes? Please?!
Are you my lines? because i'll never forget you.
I think you should come over tonight so we can practice that stage kiss...
Do you believe in helping the homeless? Take me home with you.
If you were a TSA agent, I would be happy to get a body scan.
I'm a poodle in the streets but a bulldog in the sheets
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
I must be a Dog Tick, because I'm stuck on you.
A day with you is like an eternity of behind-the-ear scratches.
You look fetching today!
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Girl, a 12 hour time difference really wouldn't make me feel bad about you, believe me.
I hate red-eye flights, but I would fly all night for you.
I bet you can't even pass airport procedures because you are simply the bomb, honey.
I'd suck a fart out of your ass.
Should you be a sticker, you would be right into my vintage set right now, babe.
I think you have been a bad boy, leaving your luggage unattended, I must punish you.
If we are in the airport, I would give you a thorough body scan, babe.
Hey baby, I've got a back seat with your name on it.
Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.
I wanna eat your shit on bread!
Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet.
Know what would look good on you? CRUTCHES!
Your sexy figure sure would make an awesome sculpture.
I was going to tell you a time-travel joke, but you didn't like it.
