Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
Excuse me, is your name Margarita? Because you’re salty and I want to lick you.
I’d say “new year, new me,” but I’d rather it be “new year, new us.”
When does a ghost have breakfast? - In the moaning.
In veterinary school we studied the brain of the hippopotamus. At that time most students stayed on the main campus, while I stayed on the hippocampus.
Some cardinals got their feathers ruffled when the pope gave away the church's nest egg to the poor.
The Balloon family name died off when it ran out of heir.
I've got an extensive collection of solution manuals. Can I get your number?
I'm not Irish, but I play drunk very well!
How about you and me turnip in your bed?
Are you Saint Anthony, because you found my heart?
Is your name Katniss? Because you're sparking a rebellion in my district.
Hey, can I borrow your Hearing Aid? My last girlfriend disappeared without returning mine!
You know the Mounties? Well how about you Mount Me?
You can't handle the tooth!
Baby, you are what I call a hot dog!
Do you have a mirror? Because I need something to shatter to escape the horror of your presence.
Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes and need directions to your heart.
Can I be your midnight kiss? Because I don’t want to start the year without you.
What do ghosts drink at breakfast? - Coffee with scream and sugar.
