Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Is your mom a witch? Because your presence is a curse upon my soul.
Do you have a phone? I need to call heaven because an angel just fell in love with me.
Are you my New Year’s resolution? Because I can’t stop thinking about you.
What type of dog does every vampire have? - Bloodhound!
I gave all my dead batteries away today... Free of charge.
When buying a lamp a shady deal usually takes place.
When I learned what the gun lobby was doing, I went ballistic!
I'll restring your racket...if you restring mine.
I'm fine with being just friends, as long as I can seduce you when we're drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10, you're hotter than the number of nights of Hanukkah.
Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
Are you a grave? Because I want to bury myself inside you!
There's not a crate strong enough in the world to keep me from you.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
Excuse me, is your name Margarita? Because you’re salty and I want to lick you.
I’d say “new year, new me,” but I’d rather it be “new year, new us.”
When does a ghost have breakfast? - In the moaning.
In veterinary school we studied the brain of the hippopotamus. At that time most students stayed on the main campus, while I stayed on the hippocampus.
Some cardinals got their feathers ruffled when the pope gave away the church's nest egg to the poor.
